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Breathing in deep

I catch the scent of tobacco coming in from the balcony

It’s the scent of my first boyfriend, of a recent lover

of my past

I drown my hands in the suds

and scrub the dishes clean before me

Letting the emptiness fill me,

carry me like the air carries the bubbles

that escape from the water in their attempts for freedom

When the house is empty, and I feel far away from everyone and everything,

I think of what was lost and what is still to come

I search for that stillness that I’m told is within

I find films to watch, projects to do, books to read

to enlighten myself

to sharpen that dull mind of mine

to keep busy

To distance myself from the animal me

that craves for simpler things,

reacts to the raw information of feeling and emotions





Those raw morphing elements that constitute our dispositions,

that distract and belabor

entrance and transfigure

bind and release

That point us somewhere, vaguely,

in the direction of home.



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